I’m right here!  Did anyone ever play that computer game Carmen San Diego when they were younger, or am I just old?  Anyway, I wish I was traveling around the world, like Carmen, but sadly, I’m not.  In fact…

Remember a few months ago, when I wrote about safety on the slopes, so you don’t all go breaking your limbs and such?  Well, apparently I should have taken my advice to the streets, because over the weekend I went ahead and broke my hand!  OK, well that’s just the easy way to describe it, but what I really broke was all the fingers (minus the thumb) on my right hand.  The pinky and rings are clean breaks, the pointer is just a bad sprain, and the middle is broken in several different places.  Super.  That’s a way to put a damper on the fourth, huh?

OK, so I’m sure you want to hear the story…  Well, there’s two versions (per the recommendation of, well, everyone I’ve talked to), and I’ll start with the embellished version: Bar Fight.  A really big one.  Actually, this mean girl spilled her drink on me, and in a nasty rage I totally took her out, and her boyfriend too, and her three annoying friends, and then there was a fire in the bar and 20 screaming children were trapped behind the huge bouncer who fainted from the fumes, and the bartender tried his hardest to put out the fire, he really did; he grabbed a hose, but instead of spraying water the hose spouted out gallons of Jose Cuervo Patron (there was no water in this bar) and just made matters worse!  Naturally, I quickly dropped what I was doing (b**** who started things on the ground in tears, BTW) and ran to the group and saved all the children, and then went back for the bouncer too, and saved the day.  Deep Breath.  I was a hero; really.  (Oh, and I even saved the girl I took out moments earlier.)  Really, I’m lucky I only have a couple broken fingers.

OK, do you want the real story?  Really??  Well, I tripped on a curb and fell.  Plain and simple.  It wasn’t even a cool fall; it was more of a “thump.”  I did break a nail, which I was of course upset about, until I realized I broke all my fingers along with it.

So there’s my story, and I’m sticking with story A.  It actually dawned on my mom today that perhaps I’m not unlucky, I’m just “accident prone.”  What the hell does that mean?!

Anyway, in case you were wondering where I’ve been lately, there you have it.  With only one hand, too!  And I think there’s a moral to this story somewhere?  Look where you walk, maybe?  Trim your nails before you trip?  Don’t be stupid (??) ?  Hm, we’ll work on this one and get back to you…

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