Westbound Boarder

We have all heard them on the slopes, ran into them while waiting for lunch or have been lectured by them for being a snowboarder. Here is what you call ‘em -  Crotchety: Someone who is a cow faced, nasty, grumbler on the hill. Like a stick in the mud or a negative Nancy. “Did you hear that Crotchety man roaring at Lloyd?” Do us all a favor and spare us the Crotchety attitude, esp on the hill.

Now, now, we are not talkin’ about going to the bathroom here. Dropping a Load on the hill is when you kick the snow off your board when you are on the lift. “Dude, you totally just dropped a load on that chick.”

Bomb Hole: a rutted out landing off a jump or rail. “Watch out for the Bomb Hole at the end of that kicker.”

Arctic Cougar: An old lady on the prowl and loose on the slopes. “Damn, did you see that Arctic Cougar getting her ski on with Kevin?”

To the common man it is snow that has been urinated on…to others it is when you take a leak in the snow, give it to your friend, telling them it’s a lemon snow-cone. Yellow snow is what some eat to put hair on their chest. Our suggestion? No matter what your definition is, please don’t eat yellow snow. “Did you really pee there?? Yellow Snow!!”

It may be a highly contested definition, but we will let you make that decision. Besides we don’t care what type of Shred Betty you are! As long as you are attempting to better your snowboard skills, your a grade A Shred Betty in our book.

Shred Betty:

• A female boarder of extraordinary ability. “That chick is such a Shred Betty.”

OR

• A girl who is all talk, but can’t walk the walk… characteristics include: Side slipping through park, flirting, being loud, obnoxious while wearing matching jacket, pants, hat, etc…”That chick is such a Shred Betty.”

Like I said, make it what you want. No matter what kind of Shred Betty you are, we’re just glad you’re out there shredding.